Starfish helping in the home

Certainly the most influential people in a child's life are usually his parents, and the most influential environment that of the home. Many studies show the influence of fathers and mothers on the growth and direction of their children. But even the best of parents have difficulties communicating and relating with their children. Especially as the children reach their teenage years, parents can feel more and more lost in relating to them.

Family Thought The energy which makes a child hard to manage is the energy which afterward makes him a manager of life. — Henry Ward Beecher

Many times the parents wish to help their child, but find themselves locked out of or unable to understand their child's world. Starfish works with parents to build relationships with their child or children. Helping a parent see the world through the eyes of their children can enable the parents to effectively guide and help their child to grow.

We also have workshops that concentrate on fathers roles in the home. A father is far more than just the physical provider for the family; he has a vital role in determining how the children are raised and what type of role model they will have. To see more about our "Wake-Up Call for Dads" workshops, click here.

Our workshop concentrate on finding out what parents are concerned or frustrated about. Then the heart of the problem is sought out, not just the end problems that occur. These core problems can be some of the most important things parents can deal with in their children's lives:

Communication — blockers and "enhancers" Building walls of "rubber" in the home Anger management Discipline with dignity, without breaking the spirit of all parties Presenting a "united" front in the home and school Teachers and parents becoming "partners" in the educational process Rights verses privileges Eliminating putdowns to ALL

What are some of the places that parents can reach out and touch their children's lives. What are some of the things parents can do to be involved in their children's lives so they can influence them?

Who is your child's all-time hero? What is your child's most prized posession? Who is your child's closest friend? What causes your child the greatest stress? What was your child's proudest accomplishment this last year?

These and many other areas are covered in the workshops. Raising our children is perhaps the most important job that we could ever have; it is important that parents do not go into this job without preparation and help.

A Wake-Up Call for Dads

Now can we play Daddy? After another late night at the office, Daddy came to little Johnny's room just as he was getting into bed. Johnny asked, "Daddy, how much do you get paid an hour?" His Daddy replied, "I make $20 an hour . . why do you ask Johnny?" There was a moment of silence and then he asked, "Daddy, could you give me $10?" As Daddy handed him the $10, he asked Johnny what the money was for. Johnny excitedly replied, "Thanks Daddy! Now I have enough money to pay for an hour of your time so you can play with me."

In telling numbers, men are putting their families first. Breaking ranks with their fathers and grandfathers, they are more actively involved in raising their kids than ever before. Several years ago, believing that the traditional concept of "father" was too limited. I coined the term "daddying" to describe the commitment and involvement in their kids' lives that many men are choosing today. Daddying occurs when fatherhood and nurturing converge. The biological act of fathering requires no commitment — just the contribution of sperm, but the ongoing process of daddying requires a lifelong commitment to one's children.

Starfish workshops focus on helping men who have the desire to help and guide their children's lives. It offers insights into the problems that the men face in raising their children, and how they can work around these problems to become their children's role model and daddy.